When trust erodes, engage the Grace of Decomposition. If the natural aroma of Life seems increasingly putrid, it may be time to turn the old compost pile.
Who is affected by bitterness?
Ourselves
Caregivers
Family Members
Friends
Community Circles
Neighbors
Fellow Drivers and Passengers
Team Mates
Colleagues
Living Beings All Around Us
How are we affected?
Tumultuous tempers
Dyspeptic dispositions
Rancorous rhetoric
Violent thoughts, language, and actions
Protracted grudges and brooding
Physical maladies
Emotional instability
Spiritual malaise
Depression
Anxiety
Isolation/loneliness
These attitudes and behaviors create havoc for physical, mental, and spiritual health and wholeness. We are all affected by the energetic signature of every living being. Toxic energy is pervasive when bitterness remains - even if its cause is cruel.
Poetess Mary Oliver reflects:
A Bitterness
I believe you did not have a happy life.
I believe you were cheated.
I believe your best friends were loneliness and misery.
I believe your busiest enemies were anger and depression.
I believe joy was a game you could never play without stumbling.
I believe comfort, though you craved it, was forever a stranger.
I believe music had to be melancholy or not at all.
I believe no trinket, no precious metal, shone so bright as your bitterness.
I believe you lay down at last in your coffin none the wiser and unassuaged.
Oh, cold and dreamless under the wild, amoral, reckless, peaceful flowers of the hillsides.
(Beacon Press, 1992, in New and Selected Poems, Vol. 1, p. 43)
Bitterness is a poison that stultifies transformative energy. Interior anger, foment, and fear can lead to anxiety, depression, and violence, sometimes turned inside out, or sometimes, outside in. When life's central support networks are breaking down, our physical, mental, and spiritual eco-systems are at risk. Sustained anger compromises our cardiovascular, nervous, and immune systems, inhibiting our ability to focus, regain our center of balance, and our capacity to adapt to unexpected or adverse stimuli. Everything seems to be breaking down. Relationships, goals, positive vision for the world and the future - all in some state of decay - means what has been is no longer, and can never be the same as it was again.
Fortunately, processing decay is Nature's forte. And it takes time. And the right conditions. It's called Composting, which requires:
1) Warm, moist environment
2) Organic matter: carbon-rich (brown) materials and nitrogen-rich (green) materials
3) Wigglers to process waste
4) Turning to circulate oxygen
To engage the Grace of Decomposition:
1) Adopt an environment conducive to enhancing decay. Let go of old ideas/habits/ways of thinking that no longer serve. Be conscious of interior thoughts - without judgment - and soften the gaze. Self-kindness, self-forgiveness, daily. Engage the affect; tears of sadness, loss, laughter, and joy are essential.
2) Feed basic needs. Double-down on the health food. Feed the body with natural, unprocessed, organic foods - limited sugar, salt, and fats. Get plenty of rest. Drink the elixir of life (H2O). Exercise with full-bodied exuberance. Daily dose of Nature therapy. Get your hands dirty in the soil of your relationships and the backyard. Play with the kids, cats, and dogs. Listen to the birds. Discipline the intellect. Read to stimulate the imagination. Play or sing music. Dance or bend the body with yoga or tai chi. Refrain from polluting the body - both the individual and the collective body of Earth.
3) Add co-creative friends/partners who will wriggle into every crevice of life and stir things up, turn things over, and ensure you don't get too comfortable in your thinking and habits. Accept the by-products of their industry, imagination, and intentions as the fodder for your growth. Pick friends who will inspire and challenge you. Learn to foster imagination and growth. Embrace change.
4) Turn, baby, turn. Keep looking around, above, below, within. Ask questions. Keep moving with the rhythm of Love's energy. Spiritual depth requires awareness of interior movement. And connection with the wider "We." Find your soul's network. Travel to the edges of imagination and artistic potential. Complacency and intransigence: begone! Circulate for fresh air. Imitate Earth, atoms, and the Milky Way - TURN!
If you need a catalyst to help you engage the Grace of Decomposition, consider scheduling a "Composting the Soul" retreat. https://www.environmentalsoulutions.com/services/retreats
It could be the beginning of a sweeter taste of Life.
Composting Anger
Seeds of mistrust, doubt, betrayal,
Fear, suspicion, envy, perennial pouts and pain
What living beauty can grow from these?
Balled fists, furrowed brows, set jaws,
Tense shoulders, clenched teeth -
What energy can flow through these?
Spent husks, shells, skins, decay
Rotting detritus, leaves, stalks, and twigs
Long past their vibrant, pulsating joy
Find their way to rest, be torn asunder, go deeper
Be consumed, break down, join with all that is -
Dark. Unknowable. Saturated.
Relinquishing the endless clutching onto life as it was
To allow transformation, transfiguration, resurrection(?)
To occur
Bringing life, surprise, and joy
All is energy
All is one
One life,
One being,
One beauty
- Especially in the midst of the pile -
We are incubating joy